Outlining some simple goals  

Your Will is a way of setting out the lasting impact of what you leave behind. You should start by listing goals and key priorities, which may include things like:  

• Providing for your spouse financially
• Supporting your children’s education 
• Helping a charity close to your heart
• Protecting your business 
• Taking care of an unwell or disabled relative or friend 

Take your time; you will be referring to this list during ‘the talk’ and when making a draft of your will. Once you have determined your goals, it becomes a lot easier to work out how you should distribute the estate and it also helps you explain any decisions to your family. 

Planning a time to talk 

This step might seem a little formal, but you never know how people will act if you spring a topic like this on them without any notice. Be clear that you’d like to discuss your Will with them and remind them that you’re involving them in this step because they’re extremely important to you.

Setting a meeting time will also give your family members time to think of any questions they might want to ask. Remember, it doesn’t have to be a formal board-meeting type of discussion; it can be as simple as setting aside ten spare minutes over an evening meal.

Choose a comfortable time and way that suits you and your family’s personalities.

What to say during 'the talk' with your family

The most important things to cover when talking to your family about your will include: 

• What you want to achieve 
• The details of your plan
• Any suggestions or opinions from your family’s perspective

Outline what you want to achieve 

Avoid going into much depth to begin with – start with simple, straightforward goals (what you want your money to achieve when you’re no longer around).

If you already have a Will in place and want to inform your family, make sure you’re clear that the Will is already written, and the conversation is just about letting them know.

If you don’t have a Will, think about what you want from the conversation. Your family will most likely have questions about your plans, and the estate, so define precisely what you want to talk about before diving in.

You may want to discuss funeral arrangements, care plans for other family members, or a charity you wish to support. But whatever your aim, be clear from the start. It can sometimes help to write a rough draft of your Will before deciding what you want to discuss. Or use our Will writing service Bequeathed that guides you through the process.

Introduce some details 

Once you’ve explained your goals, you might want to introduce some details. You don’t need to go down to the exact pounds and pence, but perhaps something like ‘I plan to leave Lisa a third of my estate because she will need the support in the future’, for example. That way, you cover some details without being too specific.

Ask for suggestions and thoughts on your plan

You should always encourage your family to be open about their thoughts on the issues surrounding your Will before it’s too late. 

Their suggestions will help you see things from a different perspective and may give you some ideas that you hadn’t previously considered. It also gives them a chance to mention any sentimental objects or assets that they’d like to inherit.

Explain that things can change

Remember to stress that circumstances will almost certainly change between the time of your conversation and the time of your death; whether you have new additions to the family or suffer losses. 

It’s crucial that you update your Will as and when your life circumstances change in order for it to remain accurate and legally valid, so tell them that you will be able to review and reassess your Will if needs be.

If your family asks about a particular asset or arrangement, involve them in the discussion as this will help them deal with this potentially challening subject.

After talking to your family about your Will 

Once the conversation is over, you should start with making your Will if you haven’t already. Whether you decide to write it yourself, pay for a solicitor or use a Will-writing service.

You can write your Will for free by registering now and using our easy Will-writing service.